Have you ever caught yourself holding on tightly to an idea—or finding it tough to admit you don’t have all the answers? You’re not alone.
What if letting go—just a little—could actually make life smoother?
I’ve learned this firsthand as a parent to my college-age daughters. Parenting teens and young adults brings a unique challenge: your role shifts from being the all-knowing authority to stepping back as a coach or mentor. When your kids are small, you usually know what’s best. But as they grow up, they become the experts on their own lives—and they want to make their own choices.
That shift requires us, as parents, to let go of control. We have to trust our kids to find their own path, even if it’s difficult to watch from the sidelines.
That’s where humility comes in. It is the secret ingredient that makes this transition easier. Humility allows us to admit we don’t know everything, to stay open to learning, and to accept mistakes—both our own and our kids’. When we lean into humility, we create space for real growth and deeper, more meaningful connections with the people we love.
The Strength of Humility
Humility is recognizing and accepting both your strengths and your limitations. It’s about seeing yourself honestly, without exaggerating your talents or downplaying your accomplishments—and appreciating the value in others, too.
People with humility are content to step out of the spotlight and center their attention on those around them. They are open to new ideas and learning because their sense of self is not threatened by being wrong.
Humility in Action
Confession time: writing about my own humility feels a bit like announcing my modesty on a neon billboard—now starring, the humblest! But if you’ll forgive the irony, here’s how I try to put humility to work in real life.
Before every coaching call, I pause, place a hand over my heart, and repeat to myself, “May I be useful.” This little ritual helps me shift the focus away from myself and toward being present for my client.
During sessions, I make it a point to listen more than I talk. My goal is to really understand my client’s motivations, struggles, and feelings—without judgment or jumping in to “fix” things. I search for their strengths and values, so I can reflect those qualities back and help them see their own wisdom. If I have a resource to offer, I always ask for permission first. The coaching process is about the client, not me—I strive to keep it client-centered and directed every step of the way.
I try to bring these same listening skills to my relationship with my young adult children. Sometimes, I get it right. When I do, I get a real window into their world and see how resourceful they are in the face of challenges. Our connection grows stronger, and they feel truly seen. Of course, there are days I miss the mark—when distractions creep in or I slip back into “expert” mode. Those are my reminders to apologize and practice a little self-compassion.
5 Ways to Build Humility
- Notice the balance in conversations: Do you speak more than others in a group? Focus on listening deeply instead of planning your response.
- Give and receive compliments with grace: Offer sincere praise when someone outshines you. Accept compliments humbly, without self-deprecation or deflection.
- Seek out input: Ask for others’ perspectives when you’re unsure. Valuing others’ knowledge chips away at pride and grows trust.
- Practice gratitude: Regularly thank those who support you. Practicing gratitude refocuses attention from yourself to the broader community around you.
- Serve without expectation: Volunteer or perform small acts of kindness. Helping others reminds us that we’re all works in progress, learning together.
This Week’s Strength Challenge
I’d love to hear from you!
How will you build humility this week?
I’d love to hear your thoughts—jump over to my blog and join the conversation!
New Group Coaching for Parents of Young Adults
I’m thrilled to introduce Positive Launch—a group coaching for parents and caregivers of high school and college students that want to stay connected with their young adults & ease the transition to independence (college, adulthood & beyond!)
Together with my colleague, Jennifer Hanawald, we’ve created a 90-minute coaching program designed to give you evidence-based tools to make this transition the best it can possibly be. Participants will explore & practice active listening, identifying & leveraging strengths and self-compassion while connecting with other parents. This idea grew out of a need that Jennifer and I saw, based on personal and professional experiences.
The Details:
- Date & Time: Sunday, September 21, 4–5:30 PM EST
- Cost: Introductory rate of $99
- How to Register: Register here
Want more information? Join our free 30-minute info session
Sunday, August 17 @ 4pm EST. Register here, or simply reply to this email with any questions.
Dianna Collier 
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