A simple practice to feel more love this week

Love can sometimes feel like something we have to earn, chase, or wait for, just out of reach, especially on the days when we’re stressed, disconnected, or running on empty.

But what if love isn’t something you have to wait for?

In positive psychology, love is something we can intentionally cultivate, and one powerful way to do that is through a practice called loving-kindness meditation.

This week’s positivity break introduces this simple, well-researched practice that helps you generate feelings of warmth, care, and connection, starting from within and gently expanding outward.

What I love about this practice is that it meets you exactly where you are. Whether you’re feeling open and connected or a little guarded and depleted, loving-kindness meditation helps you access love in a way that feels safe and doable.

And the benefits are more than just a fleeting good feeling. Research shows that loving-kindness meditation can:

  • Enhance empathy and emotional regulation
  • Strengthen feelings of social connection and belonging
  • Reduce self-criticism and support greater self-compassion
  • Lower stress and even improve overall well-being over time

In other words, this isn’t just about feeling good in the moment. It’s about gently rewiring how you relate to yourself and others.

This week’s positivity break is an invitation to pause, soften, and reconnect with that steady, expansive sense of love that’s already within you.

You can watch the full video here: https://youtu.be/TUXEH954YHM

This Week’s Challenge

I’d love to hear from you.

What did you notice when you practiced generating feelings of love? Did anything surprise you?

Share in the comments and join the conversation! Let’s spread a little positivity together!

Need Support?

If you’d like personalized support tapping into positive emotions while navigating a life transition, email me at dianna@collierclan.net for a free consultation.

Cultivate Hope for Change with this Guided Practice

Have you ever been in the middle of something that feels hard, maybe a season of uncertainty, a challenge that’s stretching you, or a goal that feels just out of reach, and noticed that hope isn’t exactly the first thing that comes to mind?

Hope is a unique emotion.

It’s most relevant in these moments, when we’re struggling or wishing something could be different, but it doesn’t always show up on its own. 

It’s something we have to cultivate.

It requires a willingness to imagine that change is possible.

Not perfect.

Not all at once.

But a little bit better.

In this week’s positivity break, I’m inviting you to gently reconnect with that sense of possibility. 

Through a short guided reflection, you’ll have a chance to imagine your life a year from now and hear from your future self about what helped you get there.

It’s simple, but often surprisingly powerful.

You can watch the full video here: https://youtu.be/T8fuykuUsZ4

As you watch, notice what resonates. You might be surprised by the wisdom that surfaces.

This Week’s Challenge

I’d love to hear a piece of insight from your future self.

How are you cultivating hope in a better future?

Share in the comments and join the conversation! Let’s spread a little positivity together!

Need Support?

If you’d like personalized support to build hope while navigating a life transition, email me at dianna@collierclan.net for a free consultation.

Find Serenity in Minutes with a Five Senses Meditation

If your mind has been buzzing and your days have been stacking up with tasks and plans, that can feel like a lot to carry. 

For these moments, I want to share a simple and supportive practice to help you pause and reconnect with a sense of calm.

This week’s positivity break is about cultivating serenity, that calm, peaceful feeling we can return to even in the middle of a busy day.

In this short video, I guide you through a five senses meditation to help you slow down and come back to the present moment. It’s an easy practice you can use at home, outside, or even while waiting in line somewhere.

Watch the video here: https://youtu.be/-uFFOd-qJW8

This practice can be especially helpful when life feels like a lot, whether that looks like a long to-do list, traffic, overbooking, overwhelm, or everyday stress and anxiety.

I do a version of this most mornings when I take my dog and coffee outside. I look at the sky, scan the yard for wildlife, notice what I can hear, feel the temperature of the air on my skin, smell my coffee, and savor the taste of it. This routine has become a small way to begin the day with a little more ease.

This Week’s Challenge

I’d love to hear from you.

If you tried the positivity break, what did you think, and how do you cultivate serenity?

Share in the comments and join the conversation! Let’s spread a little positivity together!

Need Support?

If you’d like personalized strategies to increase positive emotions, email me at dianna@collierclan.net for a free consultation.

Why I spent a month dressing up a metal donkey

What if just a few moments of lighthearted silliness could add more ease into your day?

This week’s Positivity Break is all about amusement. When I am talking about amusement, I mean that feeling of pleasure or enjoyment that is often triggered by humor. 

It’s easy to overlook, but this positive emotion carries some powerful benefits.

Amusement helps loosen the grip of stress, broaden our thinking, and bring a sense of play back into our day. 

Small moments of amusement help build emotional resilience over time, not by fixing everything, but by helping us hold life a little more lightly.

I recorded a short Positivity Break to help you experience this firsthand. It’s a simple (and slightly silly) activity designed to spark a bit of amusement.

👉Watch the Positivity Break on Amusement here: https://youtu.be/9W1BUVEu32k

If you’d like to invite more amusement into your week, here are a few other gentle ways to make space for it:

  • Notice who or what already amuses you, kids, pets, a coworker, even yourself in certain moments, and linger there a little longer
  • Keep a “ridiculous thoughts” note on your phone and add to it throughout the week
  • Take a 2–3 minute break to watch or listen to something humorous
  • Let yourself create something purely for your own amusement, a silly photo, a playful display, a ridiculous story
  • Pay attention to moments where others are smiling or laughing, and let that be contagious

For me, amusement often shows up in everyday, unexpected ways. My dog is a constant source of it. And during April of 2020, I dressed up my metal yard-art donkey in different outfits each day. It amused me to create the costumes and even more to see neighbors smiling as they walked by.

This Week’s Challenge

I’d love to hear what’s bringing amusement into your world right now! 

What is something, big or small, that made you smile or laugh recently?

If you tried the positivity break, what object did you choose & what ridiculous job did you give it?

Share them in the comments and join the conversation! Let’s spread a little positivity together!

Need Support?

If you’d like personalized strategies to increase positive emotions, email me at dianna@collierclan.net for a free consultation.

Ready to Train Your Brain for the Positive?

Have you noticed how easy it is for your mind to latch onto what’s wrong? 

That’s not a personal flaw. It’s biology. Our brains are wired to scan for threats and problems first, a handy survival skill for our ancestors but not so helpful for modern times. 

The trouble is negative emotions tend to feel louder and last longer than the positive ones.

The good news is that we can retrain our attention. When we deliberately notice and savor positive emotions, even small ones, our minds begin to open up. We start seeing more possibilities, feel more resilient, and problem solve with creativity.

That idea is at the heart of my new video series, Positivity Breaks. Each short video explores one of the 10 positive emotions that psychologist Barbara Fredrickson identified: joy, gratitude, serenity, interest, hope, pride, amusement, inspiration, awe, and love.

We’re beginning with joy. Joy is often described as a feeling of happiness or elation. It can burst forth in laughter or show up quietly as a moment of contentment. 

In this first Positivity Break, I walk you through a simple Joy Scan, a quick practice to notice three small things around you that spark delight. 

Watch the first video here: Positivity Break- Joy

This Week’s Challenge

I’d love to hear your three sparks of joy! 

What brought you joy today?

Share them in the comments and join the conversation! Let’s spread a little positivity together!

Need Support?

If you’d like personalized strategies to increase positive emotions, email me at dianna@collierclan.net for a free consultation.

How to Turn “I’m Not Okay” Into a Plan for Self-Care

Have you ever had one of those weeks where you know something feels off… but you can’t quite name what it is? 

Or maybe you do know what’s causing you pain, and still can’t see a clear way to care for yourself through it?

That’s where a simple check-in can make all the difference.

This week, I’m sharing a short video walking you through a SPIRE check-in. It’s one of my favorite ways to get a quick snapshot of how you’re doing and what you might need for self-care.

Watch it here: SPIRE Check In

SPIRE looks at your well-being as a whole person:

  • Spiritual – meaning and mindful presence
  • Physical – caring for your body and energy
  • Intellectual – learning and curiosity
  • Relational – your relationship with yourself and others
  • Emotional – feeling your emotions and reaching toward resilience

Right now, SPIRE feels especially important in my own life. My older daughter is graduating from college in May. I’m incredibly proud of the work she’s put into her degree and excited to see her use her skills in the world. 

At the same time, there’s a lot of uncertainty as she moves home, looks for a job, and saves for her own place. I want to be supportive and available, while also respecting her independence as a young adult, and that’s a tender balance.

Doing regular SPIRE check-ins helps me stay resourced so I can show up with more steadiness, compassion, and clarity in this new chapter for both of us.

This kind of season is exactly what I’ll be exploring more in the group I’m co-leading with my colleague Jennifer Hanawald, From Anxiety to Ease: Self-Care for College Parents. If you’re parenting a high school or college student and riding your own wave of pride, worry, and identity shifts, this group is for you.

Anxiety to Ease: Self-Care for College Parents


📅 Friday April 24, 11:30am-12:30pm CST


💻 Interactive, small group online experience via Zoom


✨ Education, exercises, real-life scenarios, and take-home resources


💰 Value pricing: $49—your path to flourishing

👉 For more details & to register

Still have questions? Reach out anytime: dianna@collierclan.net

This Week’s Challenge

I’d love to hear from you! 

What did your SPIRE check-in reveal for you, and what’s one small way you might care for yourself this week?

Leave me a comment and join the conversation!

How to Feel Lighter When the World Feels Heavy

I’ve been talking with a lot of people lately who feel weighed down by the constant stream of national and international news.

Some of it truly hits close to home: rising gas prices, travel delays, everyday disruptions that make life feel just a bit harder. It adds up. And over time, it can start to color how we see our days.

There’s a reason for that. Our brains are wired with what’s called a negativity bias. We naturally pay more attention to what’s wrong, what’s uncertain, or what could go badly. It’s a survival mechanism… but it can also leave us feeling drained.

What’s interesting is that research shows the happiest people don’t necessarily have fewer negative experiences or emotions. They have those too. But they tend to experience more positive ones alongside them.

That’s something we can actually cultivate.

I recorded a short video to walk you through a simple journaling practice called the GLAD technique. It’s a gentle way to shift your attention toward the authentic positives that already exist in your life without ignoring what’s hard.

Here’s how it works:

G — Gratitude
Something you’re thankful for (big or small)

L — Learned
Something you learned today—about yourself, someone else, or the world

A — Accomplishment
Something you did or completed (and yes, small things absolutely count)

D — Delight
Something that made you smile, laugh, or feel a moment of joy

The whole practice takes just a few minutes. You can write it down or even share it with a friend or family member at the end of the day.

What I love about GLAD is that it doesn’t ask you to pretend everything is great. It simply helps you also notice what is good, meaningful, or light—things that are easy to overlook when your attention is pulled elsewhere.

Even on a rough day, you might find:

  • a moment of gratitude for someone you care about
  • a small task you followed through on
  • something that sparked your curiosity
  • a song, taste, or interaction that lifted your mood

Those moments matter more than we tend to give them credit for.

If you’re open to it, try this for a few days or a week and see what you notice. You can even look back and get a fuller picture of your days—one that isn’t dominated only by what was stressful or frustrating.

This Week’s Challenge

I’d love to hear from you! 

Leave me a comment and share one of your G.L.A.D. reflections!

Need Support?

If you’d like personalized strategies to shift your perspective, email me at dianna@collierclan.net for a free consultation.

Feeling Low Motivation and Beating Yourself Up? A Self-Compassion Break

You know those days when you have plenty to do, but you just cannot seem to get started—and then you start beating yourself up about it? This self-compassion break is for exactly those low-motivation, high-pressure moments.

Today, I want to offer you something you can actually do in those moments: a short, guided self-compassion break you can return to whenever you need it.

What this self-compassion break is for

This practice is designed for times when:

  • You have work or tasks that need to get done.
  • You’re feeling low motivation or completely stalled out.
  • A part of you knows you “should” get started, but another part just…can’t.

Often, that’s when the inner critic shows up:
“Why can’t you just do it?”
“Everyone else seems to manage this.”
“What’s wrong with you?”

Instead of piling on more pressure, this self-compassion break helps you pause, notice what’s happening, and respond with more kindness and curiosity.

The three parts of a self-compassion break

In this recording, I guide you through a simple three-part practice:

  1. Mindfulness
    Noticing what’s going on—your thoughts, emotions, and body sensations—without judging them.
    This might sound like: “This is really hard right now,” or “I’m feeling stuck and tense.”
  2. Common humanity
    Remembering that what you’re feeling is part of being human, not a personal defect.
    You might remind yourself: “Everyone struggles with motivation sometimes,” or “I’m not the only one who feels this way.”
  3. Self-kindness
    Offering yourself some warmth and understanding instead of criticism.
    This includes both gentle words and a small gesture of soothing touch that feels comforting to you.

You’ll also experiment with a physical gesture—like a hand over your heart, a light hug, or resting your hands on your legs—to help your body register that you’re offering support, not attack.

Try the self-compassion break

Here’s the guided practice (about 7 minutes):


https://youtu.be/4rAJbcQLQB0

You can use it whenever:

  • You’re staring at your to-do list and can’t get started.
  • You’re feeling guilty for “wasting time” or “not doing enough.”
  • You notice your self-talk getting especially sharp and unforgiving.

You don’t have to say the “right” words. You can adapt the phrases I offer so they sound natural to you. The most important part is the attitude of kindness and understanding you’re bringing to yourself in a hard moment.

If being kind to yourself feels awkward…

If self-compassion feels unfamiliar or even a little uncomfortable, you’re not alone. For many of us, it’s much easier to offer encouragement to a friend than to ourselves.

If that’s true for you, you might try imagining what you would say to a friend who felt stuck and overwhelmed. Then, gently turn those words toward yourself.

You can also revisit my post on shifting away from harsh self-criticism here:
How to Stop Beating Yourself Up

I’d love to hear how it lands

If you try this self-compassion break, I’d love to hear what you notice:

  • How did it feel to offer yourself soothing touch?
  • What changed (even slightly) in your tone of voice toward yourself?
  • Did anything shift in your willingness to take a small next step?

You can leave a comment on this post.

Need Support Building Self-Compassion?

If you’d like help building self-compassion, email me at dianna@collierclan.net for a free consultation.

Calm Beats “Perfect” When Parenting Young Adults

Last weekend, I was talking with my 20‑year‑old daughter about her newly declared psychology major and the way friends often come to her with their hardest feelings. 

I remember having the same experience at her age (it’s part of what drew me to study psychology), but I wanted to hear her perspective.

Curious, I asked what she thinks helps people feel safe with her. She described how she talks about her own feelings, even the difficult ones, and focuses on staying calm when someone is really upset. 

She said “I let them know I’ll fight for them, but that they also have to fight for themselves.” 

It struck me that she wasn’t talking about giving perfect advice. She was describing a way of being—honest about her inner world, and steady when someone else is in distress.

As she talked, I realized she was describing exactly what many of us, as parents, want to be for our young adults: a calm, nonjudgmental, emotionally honest place to land.

When we show up that way, we create a safe space for our teens and college-age kids to bring us more of their real lives—not just the polished parts.

How to Create a Safe Space for Young Adults

Here are some of the ingredients that help create that kind of space:

  • Emotional honesty
    Letting your young adult see that you have feelings too—disappointment, worry, joy—without making them responsible for fixing them.
  • Staying calm in their storm
    When your teen or college student is in distress, it’s easy to get carried away by their feelings. Remaining grounded and calm (even if you’re worried) helps them feel safer staying with their feelings. 
  • Listening without jumping to solutions
    Asking, “Do you want me to just listen, or do you want ideas?” can be a small act that builds huge trust.
  • Respecting their pace and autonomy
    Remembering that our young adult kids are experimenting with independence. Advice lands better when they experience us as allies, not managers.

You don’t have to do all of this perfectly to make a difference. Small shifts in how you show up can quietly signal, “You’re safe with me.”


Simple Practices to Try This Week

Before a conversation:

Take one slow breath and ask yourself: “How do I want to be in this conversation—curious, calm, supportive?”

Notice any anxiety or urgency (“I need to fix this”) and simply name it to yourself.

During a hard moment:

See if you can listen a little longer before responding.

Try asking: “Do you want me to just listen right now, or would it help to hear some ideas?”

Afterward, with yourself:

Instead of replaying what you “should have” said, ask: “What did I do well in that interaction?”

If you’re self-critical, gently respond with: “This is hard, and I’m learning. I care a lot—that matters.”

Caring for Yourself So They Can Thrive

If you read this and think, “I want to be that calm, safe base, but I’m often anxious or exhausted,” you are not alone.

There are evidence-based tools that can help calm strong emotions, ease transition anxiety, and strengthen your own self-care practices. When parents tend to their own wellbeing, they model resilience and steady the family for whatever comes next.

That’s why Jennifer Hanawald and I are hosting a special online workshop designed to help parents of high school & college students move from anxiety to ease.

Anxiety to Ease: Self-Care for College Parents


📅 Friday April 24, 11:30am-12:30pm CST


💻 Interactive, small group online experience via Zoom


✨ Education, exercises, real-life scenarios, and take-home resources


💰 Value pricing: $49—your path to flourishing

👉 For more details & to register

Still have questions? Reach out anytime: dianna@collierclan.net

This Week’s Challenge

I’d love to hear from you! 

What’s one small way you might show up as a calmer, safer presence for your young adult this week?

Leave me a comment and join the conversation!

A Different Way Through Low‑Motivation Days

Have you ever had a day when your goals looked right, but your energy and motivation just didn’t show up to meet them?

That’s how I felt yesterday as I tried to generate ideas for this newsletter and came up with…nothing.

No spark, no clear topic, just pressure because I had a call coming up with a collaborator who’s often my sounding board for ideas. I felt like I “should” have several possible ideas to bring so I could get valuable feedback.

I tried to find a solution by picking up a book on the science of motivation that I’ve been meaning to read. It was interesting and engaging, and I even landed on a section about setting inspiring goals. 

But as I read it, I had this quiet realization: “This isn’t actually my problem.” I was trying to think my way out of a feeling.

My problem wasn’t how to set better goals.
My problem was that I was trying to override my humanity.

When thinking your way out doesn’t work

I still didn’t have a brilliant idea or a big a‑ha by the time my call started.

When it was my turn to share, I decided to be honest and just tell the truth. I was struggling to find inspiration and was feeling uncertain if I could write something meaningful for my readers.

As I talked it through, I noticed a shift.  I realized I didn’t actually need to push myself harder. I needed to give myself permission to be human.

No decision was required right then. I wasn’t planning to write until the next day anyway. I could let this be an in‑between space: a little uncomfortable, a little cloudy, and still totally okay.

I could feel the discomfort without fighting it. I could trust that if I listened to my feelings instead of wrestling them to the ground, they would shift. The negativity would ease. My motivation would find its way back.

Outside, it was literally cloudy. Inside, it felt the same.  Talking with my friend helped me pull back and see the bigger picture: maybe there was a good reason I felt so uninspired.

Turning curiosity onto myself

Once I softened a bit, I could finally ask a different question:

“Is there a good reason I’m feeling this way?”

It didn’t take long to find one. Actually, several.

  • My dog just had surgery last week to remove cancer. She’s doing well (thank goodness), but caretaking has been using a lot of my energy and attention.
  • My schedule has been all over the place. Meetings rescheduled because people were sick or dealing with personal stuff. Rearranging medical appointments for myself.
  • With Valentine’s Day and President’s Day, I’ve been coaching less than usual.
  • And I know this about myself: I get a lot of inspiration from people. Fewer sessions and conversations = less energy and creative spark.

So yes, technically, I had more time to write.  But I had less energy. And that matters.

Once I saw all of that laid out, my lack of motivation made complete sense.
There was nothing wrong with me. My system was just doing its best with the load it was carrying.

When I name that for clients, they often feel relief.  When I finally named it for myself, I felt the same thing.

What was really under the “low motivation”

Underneath it all, what I was actually feeling was disappointment and frustration.

  • Disappointment that my week didn’t go as planned.
  • Frustration that I wasn’t using my “extra time” in the way I thought I “should.”
  • Worry that if I didn’t stay productive, things might stall out.

Those feelings were quietly fueling my lack of motivation, the way they so often do for the clients I talk to.  

From the outside it can look like procrastination, laziness, or “I just can’t get myself going.”

From the inside, it’s often: “I’m tired. I’m worried. This is not the week I thought I’d have.”

The problem wasn’t that I’m not driven or dedicated enough.  The problem was that I was expecting myself to show up as if nothing hard was happening.

You don’t have to be “on” all the time

Our culture sends a loud message: stay goal‑driven, stay motivated, keep optimizing.

But we are not machines. We are not designed to be inspired and productive at a constant, steady clip.

Some weeks are full of momentum and clarity. Other weeks are full of caretaking, disrupted plans, medical updates, or just…life.

You don’t have to be goal‑driven and motivated all the time to be a responsible, caring, ambitious person.

You’re allowed to have cloudy stretches. You’re allowed to be affected by what’s happening in your world.

Ironically, the research on self‑compassion and motivation suggests that being kinder to ourselves when we struggle actually helps us re‑engage more fully over time, not less.

In my experience—personally and with clients—that rings true: 

Compassion loosens the stuckness that criticism hardens.

I didn’t get my motivation back by reading the perfect tip or constructing the perfect goal.

I got it back by:

  • telling the truth to someone I trust, sharing some laughter & deep discussion,
  • looking honestly at what I was carrying, and
  • letting myself be a human being for a minute.

A few gentle questions for you

If you’ve been feeling unmotivated lately, here are a few questions you might try:

  • What feelings are fueling my lack of motivation? No judgement, just acknowledgement. 
  • Instead of “What’s wrong with me?”, ask: “What’s been going on in my life that might explain why I feel this way?”
  • If I treated myself as a human being, not a human doing, what would today look like?
  • Given that, what would a kind, realistic next step look like?”

This Week’s Challenge

I’d love to hear from you! 

How do you support yourself on days when your motivation is low?

Leave me a comment and join the conversation!

Need Support Developing Self-Kindness?

If you’d like personalized strategies to increase self-compassion, email me at dianna@collierclan.net for a free consultation.