Before we jump in, a quick thank you to those who’ve shared your questions and stories with me. Your openness strengthens our community. If you haven’t reached out yet, it’s not too late. Leave me a comment & tell me what’s on your mind.
A Reader’s Honest Reflection
Recently, one reader captured a feeling many of us recognize:
“Part of me wants to live in an echo chamber, and only hear opinions I agree with. And other parts of me desperately want to understand how some people think so differently from me. I find it exhausting at times. But I’d love to learn how to better manage my emotions when I hear others voice statements that I oppose. I can’t make positive changes in this world if I’m not able to elevate those around me (including myself!).”
Does that resonate with you? It certainly struck a chord with me. This push-and-pull shows up everywhere—around the dinner table, at work, and as we scroll through social media.
There are not easy answers, but there is wisdom we can tap into to cross this divide.
Why This Series?
This month, I’m launching a four-part series:
Challenging Conversations: Connecting When Opinions Differ
Each week features a practical, research-backed positive psychology approach. We’ll explore how to balance understanding, boundaries, and meaningful connection—especially when the conversation gets tough.
Coming Up:
- Week 1 (this week): How to Listen with Empathy
- Week 2: Generating Compassion for Others
- Week 3: Creating Boundaries & Meeting Difficult Emotions with Self-Compassion
- Week 4: Building Hope in the Goodness of People
The goal isn’t to “win” arguments, but to make tough conversations less draining—and far more meaningful.
Week 1: How to Listen with Empathy
Have you ever walked away from an argument about politics, family values, or any sensitive issue feeling frustrated and disconnected? Sometimes it seems like real conversation is impossible. That’s where empathetic listening can change everything.
Now, a caveat: this tool works best when you have the time and energy to create the right conditions. Your intention matters. You’re listening to understand and connect, not to debate or persuade.
The Wholebeing Institute offers a framework I love for practicing empathetic listening, built around three frames:
- Getting Into the Speaker’s Movie
- Imagine stepping into their story, like you’re watching a film.
- Notice their struggles, motivations, and emotions.
- Stay fully present—don’t interrupt & resist planning your response.
- Use eye contact and allow pauses for reflection.
- Use small verbal nods like “mmhmm” or “yes” to show you’re listening.
- Be a Mirror
- Reflect back what you’re hearing from the speaker.
- Acknowledge their feelings and highlight their strengths.
- Notice shifts in their emotions.
- Ask clarifying questions to deepen understanding and show you want to hear more.
- This helps the speaker feel truly heard and understood.
- Offer a Window
- Once connected, gently invite new perspectives.
- Ask questions that help the speaker imagine different possibilities or outcomes.
- Reflect on what might come next beyond their current story.
- Only if it feels welcome, ask if they’d like to hear your perspective.
You may not change anyone’s opinion, but you can build connections. Ultimately, relationships are more important than agreement.
This Week’s Challenge
Leave me a comment and share:
- What opportunities are you finding to use empathetic listening?
- How did it go?
Sneak Peek: Next Week
Next week, we’ll dig into how to generate compassion for others—especially when beliefs differ.
Need Support for Challenging Conversations?
Ready for personalized strategies?
Email me at dianna@collierclan.net for a free consultation.
Dianna Collier 