When I work with clients navigating career transitions—whether by choice or due to an unexpected layoff—we always start by defining what success looks like for the week ahead. But let’s be honest: there’s a lot of uncertainty in these moments. What will actually work? Immediate results aren’t realistic, so we focus on the process instead—taking potentially helpful steps and prioritizing self-care.
Here’s the thing: success doesn’t always look like a big win. Maybe they applied to some interesting jobs, got out of the house, and practiced mindful breathing throughout the day. That’s a victory! Or maybe they searched for jobs but didn’t find anything exciting, stayed home all week, and didn’t find mindful breathing helpful. Guess what? That’s still a victory! Why? Because effort was made, and valuable information was collected.
Here’s the truth: failure informs success. The more you “fail,” the closer you get to figuring out what works.
Tool #5 for Dealing with Uncertainty: Loosening Expectations
Things will go wrong—and that’s okay. Research shows we adapt to disappointments faster than we expect. In fact, the fear of failure is often more painful than failure itself. Taking risks and experimenting as you work toward your goals is how you learn what works best for you.
Failure isn’t final—it’s information. It guides you toward success, whether your goal is landing a fulfilling new job or simply making it through the day without feeling overwhelmed by political or economic turmoil.
Give yourself permission to adjust your plans as you gain new information and experiences. For example, one of my clients is creating her first online course—a completely new type of project for her. Along the way, she’s had to pivot multiple times, adjusting her schedule and deadlines based on what she learns through trial and error. By running small experiments, she gathers insights that help her plan her next steps more effectively.
3 Steps to Loosen Expectations & Find Success in Failure
- Start with Self-Compassion
Failure can be frustrating—so acknowledge that it’s painful (don’t push those feelings away). Remind yourself that setbacks are a normal part of life; everyone experiences them. Practice speaking kindly to yourself. For example, I keep a sticky note above my computer that says:
“I am granting myself grace today. I am in the process of learning.”
If you struggle with self-compassion, imagine what you’d say to a friend going through the same situation—and say it to yourself. - Explore What You Learned
Every failure is an opportunity for growth. Ask yourself:- Is there something I could change that might produce different results?
- Do I need to adjust my environment or timing?
- Is there a skill gap I need to fill with additional resources or support?
- Do Something Fun
Failure can be stressful, so give yourself time to recover before tackling your next challenge. Whether it’s watching a funny movie, going for a walk, or spending time with friends, doing something enjoyable will help recharge your energy.
This Week’s Challenge:
I’d love to hear from you! Leave me a comment and share:
- A recent “failure” that taught you something valuable
- How you’re loosening expectations in your own life
Next Week
Stay tuned for another powerful tool to help you thrive through uncertainty.
Need Support for Positive Change?
If you’re ready for personalized strategies to navigate life’s challenges, email me at dianna@collierclan.net for a free consultation.
Dianna Collier 