Holiday Stress Relief: 7 Ways to Find Beauty

I find beauty in strange places.

Today, as I write on a foggy gray afternoon, the view outside my window is… less than inspiring. But then my eyes land on the Kleenex box on my desk — cheerful snowy houses, bright evergreens, and tiny wreaths perched above the doors — and suddenly, I feel a flicker of delight.

This ridiculous fondness for cute tissue boxes has become a bit of a running joke in my family. Still, I’m genuinely grateful that something so ordinary can lift my mood and remind me that beauty doesn’t have to be grand or obvious to matter.

Of course, I’m also moved by the more traditional kinds of beauty — like the music from my daughters’ Christmas concert last week. The handbells, orchestra, and choir really kindled my holiday spirit, along with the joy of seeing my girls perform.

And it’s not just a nice feeling. Research suggests that appreciating beauty activates parts of the brain linked to pleasure, calm, and connection. It can lower stress hormones, steady our heart rate, and even boost resilience by helping us focus on what’s good and meaningful.

In other words, taking in a bit of beauty — whether it’s art, nature, or a well-designed Kleenex box — can help restore both our mood and our sense of balance during a busy season.

This week’s tool in the Peace & Positivity for the Holidays series is appreciating and creating beauty in the world around us.

7 Ways to Find Beauty During the Holiday Season

Take a Beauty Walk (or Drive)
Be intentional about noticing the beauty of nature- look at the snowflakes if you’re in a place with snow or the colored leaves on the trees (like here in Texas.) Admire the beauty created by humans through holiday decorations.

Capture Moments of Light
Take photos of small, lovely things — morning frost, a reflection on the window, string lights at dusk. Noticing through a lens helps train your eyes toward appreciation. This could even be a part of your Beauty Walk.

Appreciate Musical Excellence
Attend a musical performance or listen deeply to a song you love. Notice the lyrics, rhythm, harmonies, or instrumental skill.

Revisit Holiday Memories
Flip through old photos, ornaments, or cards that recall meaningful moments. A friend of mine loves watching the Charlie Brown Christmas special every year. Emotional beauty can be just as powerful as what you see outside.

Share Beauty with Others
Send a short message, poem, or image to someone who could use a lift. Spreading beauty amplifies its impact on both giver and receiver.

Find Beauty in Meaningful Rituals
Whether it’s lighting a candle at dusk, saying a familiar prayer, singing sacred music, or observing a cherished practice that connects you with something larger than yourself, rituals offer rich opportunities to experience beauty.

Pause for Stillness
Sometimes beauty reveals itself when we stop rushing. Give yourself a quiet minute — maybe with a cup of tea — to simply look around.

This Week’s Challenge

I’d love to hear from you!

Where are you finding beauty during this holiday season? How can you create a little if it’s not readily available?

Leave me a comment and join the conversation!

Need Support?

If you’d like personalized strategies for peace and positivity this holiday season, email me at dianna@collierclan.net for a free consultation.

Holiday Burnout? 5 Playful Practices to Help

This time of year asks a lot of us. As the days grow shorter and the light fades earlier and earlier, many people notice their energy dip and their mood flatten.

At the same time, calendars swell with obligations: work deadlines before year-end, school events, travel plans, family gatherings, gifts to choose, meals to prepare, and traditions to uphold.

Even when these activities are meaningful, the pressure to make everything “special” or “just right” can quietly pile up, leaving nervous systems on high alert and bodies running on fumes.

When life starts to feel like one long checklist, what often goes missing is a sense of lightness. This is where the third tool in the Peace & Positivity for the Holidays series comes in: playfulness.

When people give themselves permission to be a little more playful—through small moments of silliness, creativity, or joy—it can lower stress, ease the intensity of worry, and create tiny pockets of relief in a crowded day.

Research links a playful outlook with stronger coping skills, more frequent positive emotions, and a greater sense of life satisfaction, even when circumstances are challenging.

So, join me in experimenting with where a little bit of play—small, simple moments of fun or silliness—might slip into your days and bring a lighter feel to this season.

5 Playful Practices to Ease Holiday Stress

Revisit how you played as a child

What did “fun” look like for you—dancing, drawing, singing, building, playing sports, being outside?

Try a grown-up version now: dance in your kitchen, reread a beloved holiday book, decorate cookies “just because,” or revive a favorite tradition like driving around to look at lights.

Find a play role model

Kids and pets are basically professional play consultants. Let them remind you how to be in the moment and follow their lead in games, crafts, baking, or silly made-up activities.

Notice playful adults too—the friend with outrageous holiday socks, the coworker who always has a new game, the relative who loves a goofy tradition—and borrow their ideas.

Make up funny stories to entertain yourself

Long lines and traffic jams are perfect places to let your imagination wander. Turn waiting time into story time: imagine who the person in front of you is shopping for or where the driver ahead of you is going.

If you’re with someone else, build the story together and see how over-the-top you can make it. If you’re solo, text a friend your silliest version (“I’m pretty sure the person in front of me is buying that blender for a secret spy mission”) and share the laugh.

Take tiny play breaks during the day

Instead of waiting for a big chunk of free time, look for 5–15 minute pockets where you can do something light and fun. You might film a silly video, dance & sing to a favorite song or doodle on a sticky note between tasks.

You can also play with what’s around you: snap photos of outlandish shoes or sweaters in stores and send them to a friend or one of your kids with a message like, “Found your holiday outfit!” This is a favorite of mine.

These small, silly moments can release tension and reset your mood.

Use games to connect

When you are with family or friends, suggesting a board game, card game, or simple group game can create shared laughter and ease conversation pressure.

Depending on your group, that might look like a cozy puzzle night, a round of charades, a casual game of catch, or an online game you can all join from different locations.

This Week’s Challenge

I’d love to hear from you!

How will you embrace playfulness this holiday season?

Leave me a comment and join the conversation!

Need Support?

If you’d like personalized strategies for peace and positivity this holiday season, email me at dianna@collierclan.net for a free consultation.

Gratitude Practices For Grumpy People

As Thanksgiving approaches, the annual wave of gratitude messages is hard to miss. You might feel nudged to dust off your gratitude journal, or simply go around the table naming something you’re thankful for.

If these rituals genuinely warm your heart, wonderful—keep them.

But if the “be grateful!” chorus leaves you annoyed, numb, or pressured, you are not alone. Gratitude can start to feel performative or shallow when it’s treated like a seasonal obligation.

Honestly, that used to be me. I was definitely a gratitude grump.

Yet something shifted when gratitude became less about forcing myself to “look on the bright side,” and more about noticing everyday moments of goodness. Over time, appreciation for the ordinary, imperfect good in my life began to come more naturally—and with it, a bit more peace.

The beauty of gratitude is that there are countless ways in. There’s truly a version of it for everyone.

Simple practices have been linked with lower stress, better sleep, and a more grounded outlook—benefits that are especially welcome during the holiday swirl.

Still, even with the best intentions, gratitude practices can lose their spark. If you get bored or start to feel flat, mixing things up can help bring back that positive mood boost.

This week’s tool in the Peace & Positivity During the Holidays series is gratitude—not the polished, pressure-filled version, but a kinder, more flexible approach you can explore in your own way.

Whether you adore gratitude rituals or view them with a little suspicion, consider this a gentle invitation: experiment with what authentic appreciation might look like for you, right now.

5 Unique Gratitude Practices to Try

3 Good Things:
At the end of the day, write down three good things that happened.
Be specific: What happened? How did it feel? Was anyone else involved? What did you do to help make each of these things happen?

Savoring Smells of the Season:
Spend the day noticing the pleasant smells around you.
Is it fresh brewed coffee? Peppermint? Bread baking in the oven?
Which scents are especially appealing?
Whenever you notice a good scent, pause and take three deep breaths to enjoy it.
Try jotting your favorites in a journal or in your phone’s notes app. Review and reflect on them at the day’s end.

Self-Gratitude:
We usually think of gratitude as something we give others, but it can be powerful to turn it inward.
What do you appreciate about yourself—your strengths, skills, or personality?
What physical abilities are you thankful to have?
What have you done to take care of yourself today?

Appreciating Humor:
Notice what brings a smile or makes you laugh throughout your day.
Who made you laugh or smile today?
What funny images or jokes did you enjoy?
Did you watch any funny reels, movies, or TV shows?
Collect moments of humor in a journal or online folder to revisit whenever you need a pick-me-up.

Appreciating Your Home:
Try this practice when you’re tired and finally back at home.
What aspects of your living space bring you pleasure?
What comforts does your home provide?
Are there sights, sounds, or bits of natural beauty nearby that you enjoy?
Which sounds in your environment feel soothing?

This Week’s Challenge

I’d love to hear from you!

What are you grateful for?

Leave me a comment and join the conversation!

Next Week

I’ll be taking off a week from the newsletter to celebrate Thanksgiving. Check out my blog, Shift Your Mood With Gratitude, for more ways to weave gratitude into your daily life.

Need Support?

If you’d like personalized strategies for peace and positivity this holiday season, email me at dianna@collierclan.net for a free consultation.

Manage Holiday Overwhelm — Finding Calm With Anchors

While the holiday season often brings moments of joy and togetherness, it can just as easily be a time of stress and emotional complexity.

Many of us feel the pressure of packed schedules, financial worries, or the drive to create picture-perfect gatherings.

Sometimes, the expectation to be cheerful feels out of reach—especially when coping with changes in relationships, loneliness, or the bittersweet absence of loved ones who have passed away.

If you’re juggling a lot, wrestling with tricky family dynamics, or just missing someone this year, know you’re not alone.

The holidays can stir up a wide range of emotions, and acknowledging them is an important step toward well-being.

This series will offer uplifting ideas and practical tools to nurture peace and positivity, supporting you through the challenges and joys the season will bring.

This week’s practice is all about finding your anchors—those reliable sources of calm and steadiness you can return to, even when the holiday season feels hectic or overwhelming.

Riding Out the Holiday Storm: My Go-To Anchors

This year, the holiday overwhelm hit me as soon as I glanced at my end-of-year calendar. The anticipation of packed commitments, crowded stores, tight shipping deadlines and traffic rushed through me.

It’s true: everything seems to take longer once November rolls around. Grocery shopping, driving, running errands…I’ve learned that adding extra buffer time helps, but sometimes, no amount of planning can fully tame the chaos.

I wondered: How will I make space for quality time with family and friends while still handling responsibilities? How do I stay grounded and calm for my coaching clients while managing my own stress? What will help me celebrate and actually enjoy the moments?

That’s when I remembered my anchors—the practices that keep me steady when I feel like I’m caught in a storm.

Yoga classes help me breathe and move through tension
Walks outside give me a break from screens and a much-needed dose of nature
Connecting with friends for judgment-free conversation gives me energy and perspective—even from afar.
Escaping with an absorbing book like a juicy Romantasy novel gives me a reset.
Daily snuggles with my dog are the definition of calming.
Building strength through weight training has been empowering lately—I hope it’ll be a new anchor as the holidays ramp up.

Prioritizing these activities helps me weather the holiday storm and show up as my best self, for my family, friends, and coaching clients.

Finding Your Anchors

Think back: What practices or connections have helped you find your center before? Which would you like to draw on—or return to—throughout this season?

What helps you feel grounded when life gets busy?
Are there routines, hobbies, or little rituals that bring you comfort or spark a sense of joy? Maybe reading, listening to music, or a morning walk?
When emotions run high, do you find relief in a few deep breaths, stretching, or your favorite movement?
Who are the people that make you feel truly accepted and supported? How can you carve out time—even a quick text or call—to connect?

If ideas aren’t coming right away, don’t worry. I’ll be sharing all sorts of activities over the next few weeks that can serve as anchors during the holiday season.

This Week’s Challenge

I’d love to hear from you!

What are your anchors during tough times?

Leave me a comment and join the conversation!

Need Support?

If you’d like personalized strategies for peace and positivity this holiday season, email me at dianna@collierclan.net for a free consultation.

How to Get Past the “Feeling” of Procrastination & Enjoy the Next Step

Have you ever put off working on something that really mattered—a career move, a big project, or a personal goal? Maybe you told yourself you’d get started tomorrow, only to find that tomorrow always seems to be “some other day.”

If you’re nodding along, you’re in good company. Many of my clients report some version of this at the start of our coaching sessions.

One client summed up the challenge after finishing a temporary job: “NOW I’m struggling to begin to apply for jobs, again. I don’t know what my ‘block’ is. Selling yourself is work.” That feeling of invisible resistance? It’s incredibly common.

For some, it’s hard to begin researching alternatives to a job that isn’t quite right—especially when it isn’t unbearable, just…meh.

For others, it’s moving at a snail’s pace because new adventures always come with a whisper of uncertainty. One client told me, “I know I need to remind myself that this will be a good thing, even if it feels scary.”

Others find themselves accomplishing tons, but never quite getting to the projects they promised to tackle.

Or maybe you’ve looked at job posts, felt that inner critic whisper, “They’re really looking for someone with more experience,” and wondered where your confidence ran off to.

If any of this rings true, you’re not alone. This week, we’re diving into strategies for breaking through avoidance and procrastination—especially around major career changes and those “dream” projects you want to turn into reality.

Procrastination is not laziness. Several factors often lie behind it — it could be one or a combination of these:

What Drives Procrastination?

Lack of clarity: When the goal or next steps aren’t clearly defined, it can feel impossible to move forward.

Skill gaps: Sometimes we’re not sure how to do what’s needed or don’t yet have the skills to complete the task.

Fear and perfectionism: Worrying about failing or needing things to be perfect can keep us stuck at the starting line.

Low confidence or frustration: Doubt about whether the tasks will help us reach the goal, or if the goal itself is achievable, can sap motivation.

Changing priorities: The task or goal may feel less important compared to other obligations, making it tough to find or make time for it.

Understanding what’s really driving your procrastination is the first step toward finding strategies that help you move forward with confidence and ease.

8 Strategies to Break Free from Procrastination

Start small. Ask yourself: “What would bring me 2% closer to reaching my goal?” Then do just that. Maybe it’s inviting someone in your network for a coffee chat—one tiny step is all you need to begin.

Try the 5 minute rule. Give yourself permission to work on a task for only five minutes. For example, set a timer and spend five minutes updating your resume. When the timer ends, you get to decide whether to keep going or stop and celebrate your small win either way.

Connect to your “why.” Take time to think about why this change matters to you. How will it improve your life? What values does it support? Post a note on your mirror or desk. For someone wanting a better job, their “why” might be more flexibility, fulfillment, or financial security.

Seek support for skill gaps. If you don’t know how to tackle something, go online or reach out for help. A young client of mine recently researched how to write a cover letter and asked his aunt to review his first draft—involving support made progress possible.

Repeat a mantra for progress, not perfection. Find words to remind yourself that “done is better than perfect.” Years ago, when follow-up emails took too long, my mantra became, “Good is good enough. F—It!” and I hit send.

Schedule tasks and use accountability. Blocking time on your calendar and sharing your plans with someone else can increase follow-through. Try announcing a deadline to a friend or coach.

Remove distractions and set up cues. Make your work environment distraction-free and add physical or digital reminders—like sticky notes, alarms, or visual cues—to prompt action.

Celebrate every small win. Notice and reward progress, no matter how tiny. Celebrating movement (not just outcomes) helps sustain motivation and builds momentum for what’s next.

Pick one or two strategies to test this week—over time, small steps really do add up.

This Week’s Challenge

I’d love to hear from you!

What strategies help you break through procrastination?

I’d love to hear your thoughts—leave me a comment and join the conversation!

Next Week: A New Series for Holiday-Time Stresses

Starting next week, I’ll be launching a new series designed to help you find peace and positivity during the holiday season. Whether the holidays feel joyful or challenging, these uplifting ideas will support your well-being and help you thrive from now through the new year.

Need Support?

Ready for personalized strategies?
Email me at dianna@collierclan.net for a free consultation.

A Sneaky Truth About Launching Kids Into College

There’s a sneaky truth about launching kids into college—especially when you become an empty nester. Your child’s return for winter break can be just as emotional as the day you dropped them off.

Time moves strangely in this season. One moment you’re pulling down the college announcement yard sign, peeking into an empty room and shedding some tears.

The next, they’re back home for a long break—disrupting your new routines and that gloriously clean house.

At first, it’s all excitement, hugs, and (in my house) sweet requests for fresh fruit and veggies. But pretty soon, the rhythms shift.

Sharing space with your newly independent young adult can mean some tricky negotiating. Then just as you find your groove again, it’s time for them to go back.

Wherever You Are—You’re Not Alone

If you’re parenting a high schooler or a college student this fall, chances are you’re riding a wave of hope, pride, and maybe a bit of anxiety.

Maybe you’re watching your teen refresh their college application portal, resisting the urge to micromanage.

Maybe you’re preparing for your college student’s first trip home, wondering how they’ve really been—and how you’ll both adjust to this new dynamic.

Whatever stage you’re in, know this: feeling anxious is normal, but you don’t have to stay stuck there.

Caring for Yourself So They Can Thrive

There are evidence-based tools that can help calm strong emotions, ease transition anxiety, and strengthen your own self-care practices. When parents tend to their own wellbeing, they model resilience and steady the family for whatever comes next.

That’s why Jennifer Hanawald and I are hosting a special online workshop designed to help parents move from anxiety to ease.

Anxiety to Ease: Self-Care for College Parents
📅 Wednesday, November 12 | 7–8 pm EST
💻 Interactive, small group online experience via Zoom
✨ Education, exercises, real-life scenarios, and take-home resources
💰 Value pricing: $69—your path to flourishing

👉 For more details & to register

Still have questions? Reach out anytime: dianna@collierclan.net

The road to independence is bumpy—and worth celebrating. Join us (and a community of fellow parents) to learn, practice, and find reassurance as you navigate this season of change.

When the World Looks Dark, Look Here

Some days, it’s hard to stay hopeful about people.
You see selfishness, division, and unkindness—and it starts to feel like that’s all there is.

Our minds naturally spotlight the negative. This isn’t a character flaw; it’s biology.

Our brains evolved with a negativity bias—a tendency to notice and remember bad experiences more than good ones. Long ago, this kept our ancestors safe by helping them spot danger quickly. Today, it mostly just keeps us wary and worn out.

The media amplifies this bias. News outlets know what hooks our attention, and unfortunately, bad news does that better than good.

Alarming headlines, conflicts, scandals—they all light up our brain’s threat systems. The more clicks and views a headline gets, the more stories like that get written. Over time, the world starts to look darker than it really is.

But underneath the noise, kindness still happens. Generosity still exists. People still hold doors, comfort strangers, and look out for their neighbors.

This week is the fourth in our Challenging Conversations: Connecting When Opinions Differ series. We’re exploring ways to rebuild hope in the goodness of others when you feel discouraged.

Last week, we explored how to meet difficult emotions with self-compassion and set healthy boundaries. Once you’ve addressed your painful emotions, it’s time to start boosting the positive ones–like hope and inspiration.

How to Rebuild Hope in the Goodness of People

Once we understand how our brains lean toward the negative, we can intentionally start tipping the balance back toward the good. Hope grows when we actively seek evidence that kindness and goodness still exist—and they do.

Here are 5 ways to nurture that hope:

1. Seek out uplifting news.
Visit sites that highlight everyday goodness, like Today’s Good News or Good News Network. Their stories remind us that generosity, creativity, and compassion are thriving all around.

I felt a surge of hope & awe after reading this story: “Baker Delivers Free Birthday Cakes to Homeless People: ‘They’re Our Neighbors’”

2. Notice kindness in your community.
Pay attention to small moments of care—a driver who lets someone merge, a stranger who shares a smile, a friend who checks in. These glimpses matter.

Also look for the bigger acts—neighbors organizing a meal train, volunteers cleaning up a park, or people rallying to support a family in need. You can amplify hope further by performing a few acts of kindness yourself.

3. Strength-spot others.
Look for character strengths in action. Maybe your coworker shows perseverance on a tough project, or your neighbor displays kindness toward a lost pet. See how many strengths you can find in a day—and if you can, tell the person what you noticed. Recognizing strengths lifts both of you.

4. Practice gratitude.
Reflect on who you appreciate and why. Write it down, then let them know. Sharing gratitude not only deepens your connection with that person but also strengthens your own sense of optimism.

5. Share good stories.

Start a ripple of positivity by swapping uplifting stories with friends and family. Ask questions like, “What is the most surprising act of kindness you’ve seen lately?” or “What inspired you this week?” Emotion is contagious—let’s spread the kind that brightens the room.

Building hope doesn’t mean ignoring the world’s problems—it means remembering we’re still capable of goodness, together.

This Week’s Challenge

I’d love to hear from you!

Share a story that restores your faith in people. It could be something you witnessed, did, or read that moved you.

I’d love to hear your stories—share a story in the comments below and join the conversation. Let’s start an upward spiral of positivity!

Need Support to Build Hope?

Ready for personalized strategies?
Email me at dianna@collierclan.net for a free consultation.

Emotions Rising? Here’s Your Roadmap

When was the last time anger showed up in a conversation for you? Did you welcome it, fight it, or wish it would go away?

For me, my first instinct is usually to wish it would go away. But lately, I’ve started getting curious and asking: What is my anger trying to tell me?

Difficult emotions like anger are messengers. They shine a light on what we need and guide us in how to care for ourselves.

When we’re faced with someone who sees the world differently, understanding our own emotions helps us respond thoughtfully—taking care of ourselves and honoring the other person’s dignity at the same time.

This week is the third in our Challenging Conversations: Connecting When Opinions Differ series. We’re exploring ways to meet tough emotions like anger with self-compassion and how to set healthy boundaries.

Last time, we looked at how to generate compassion for others, especially when their beliefs diverge from ours. If that still feels like a stretch, it might be time to pause and gently explore your own difficult feelings first.

Meeting Difficult Emotions with Self-Compassion
(Based on Kristin Neff’s work)

One way you can explore your difficult feelings is to follow this step-by-step method.

Step 1: Label the Emotions
Begin by naming what you’re feeling. Oftentimes people think they are experiencing one emotion when they may be experiencing several. If anger stands out, look underneath—fear, sadness, or grief may be waiting to be seen.

It may feel silly or obvious to label your emotions, but this process activates the pre-frontal cortex, the thinking & reasoning part of the brain. It helps you create some distance from the emotions and reduce the intensity.

Step 2: Notice Emotions in the Body
Tune into your body and find where you feel the emotion most strongly. Is it tightness in your chest, a clench in your jaw, or butterflies in your stomach? Giving attention to the physical sensations helps make emotions more manageable.

Step 3: Soften–Soothe–Allow
Move through each part in order:

Soften: Gently relax the area of your body holding the emotion. Take slow, deep breaths, and imagine tension releasing.
Soothe: Place a hand with care over the spot and quietly offer yourself comforting words—the kind you’d share with a friend.
Allow: Give yourself permission to feel what you’re feeling, without trying to force it away. Instead, ask your emotion what message it holds for you.

You can use these steps each time you encounter difficult emotions—they work best when done in this order, moving from awareness to kindness to acceptance.

For additional practice, check out this guided meditation by Kristin Neff.

Setting Boundaries

Sometimes our difficult emotions signal it’s time for a boundary. Consider the following when dealing with tough news or heated conversations:

Know your limits. Only engage in political conversations when you are feeling rested & calm. Consider setting a time limit for a discussion.
Step away if a conversation gets too heated or disrespectful.
Suggest non-sensitive topics or activities with loved ones who hold opposing views.
Reduce the time you spend consuming news or reading political social media posts.

This Week’s Challenge

Pick one moment this week when a difficult emotion visits—maybe during a conversation, a news story, or a social media scroll.

Pause and try labeling what you feel, noticing where it sits in your body, and practicing soften–soothe–allow.

What message does the emotion have for you? Do you need to set a boundary?

Leave me a comment and share what you discovered. I’d love to hear from you!

Sneak Peek: Next Week

Next week, we’ll explore how to build hope in the goodness of people when you are feeling discouraged.

Need Support?

Ready for personalized strategies?
Email me at dianna@collierclan.net for a free consultation.

Feeling Triggered by Politics?

Scrolling through my social media feed before the 2024 election, it felt like politics were everywhere. Arguments, trash talk, and opinionated articles seemed to take over.

Honestly, I was frustrated and angry at people whose views clashed with mine. Did anyone else feel this too?

I wanted something to change. Unfriending wasn’t the answer—after all, I still enjoyed their family photos and funny pet stories.

Instead, I decided to try something different. Each time I read a post that riled me up, I’d remind myself, “Just like me, he loves his kids and dogs,” or “Just like me, she cherishes beach days.”

Finding these small connections helped me remember we shared values and interests. My anger softened, and a bit more compassion crept in.

Of course, it was easy to get triggered again so I also started skimming past political rants.

Even though the election is behind us, heated political debates are still everywhere. It’s easy to feel overwhelmed or upset, especially online.

This week is the second in our Challenging Conversations: Connecting When Opinions Differ series. We’re exploring how to generate compassion for others, especially when beliefs are different.

Last week, we looked at listening with empathy—an essential skill for one-on-one conversations. This week’s tool can help in those moments, but it also works when social media posts or news triggers strong reactions.

Week 2: Generating Compassion When Opinion Differ

Imagine watching a politician defend a view that feels threatening to your values. You might notice your heart racing or anger rising.

Later, an acquaintance voices support for that same view, and your frustration grows as if your beliefs are under attack.

You may find yourself replaying their words, feeling more upset with each thought, stuck in that frustration.

How do you break out of this?

3-Step Compassion Practice

1. Pause and notice your pain.
Label the emotion(s) you are feeling. MRI scans show labeling emotions decreases activation in the amygdala—the part of the brain involved in threat detection. That decrease in activation can help you calm down.

2. Direct compassion toward yourself.
Difficult emotions are part of being human. Offer yourself kind words. If that feels hard, imagine what you’d say to a friend in pain.

3. Reach for compassion toward the other person.
If you know the other person, recall a positive experience or a shared interest.

If not, try repeating these statements while taking deep breaths:

Despite what this person has done, just like you, they want to be happy, safe, and loved.
Just like you, they navigate a complex world full of difficult emotions.
Just like you, they long for connection and belonging.

Do you feel any different after this practice? Sometimes, my answer is “yes!” and sometimes it’s a sad “no.” It’s particularly challenging for me to direct compassion towards a public figure that I don’t know personally. It’s truly a practice that I need to repeat.

This Week’s Challenge

When you notice strong feelings triggered by someone’s opinion—online or in person—pause and try the 3-step compassion practice.

Then, leave me a comment and share how it went. Did it help? Or was it hard to do? I’d love to hear your experience either way.

Next Week

I’ll be taking a break from writing to spend time with family and friends but will return the following week with a deeper dive into meeting difficult emotions with self-compassion and setting healthy boundaries.

Need Support?

Ready for personalized strategies?
Email me at dianna@collierclan.net for a free consultation.

Connecting When We Disagree

Before we jump in, a quick thank you to those who’ve shared your questions and stories with me. Your openness strengthens our community. If you haven’t reached out yet, it’s not too late. Leave me a comment & tell me what’s on your mind.

A Reader’s Honest Reflection

Recently, one reader captured a feeling many of us recognize:

“Part of me wants to live in an echo chamber, and only hear opinions I agree with. And other parts of me desperately want to understand how some people think so differently from me. I find it exhausting at times. But I’d love to learn how to better manage my emotions when I hear others voice statements that I oppose. I can’t make positive changes in this world if I’m not able to elevate those around me (including myself!).”

Does that resonate with you? It certainly struck a chord with me. This push-and-pull shows up everywhere—around the dinner table, at work, and as we scroll through social media.

There are not easy answers, but there is wisdom we can tap into to cross this divide.

Why This Series?

This month, I’m launching a four-part series:

Challenging Conversations: Connecting When Opinions Differ

Each week features a practical, research-backed positive psychology approach. We’ll explore how to balance understanding, boundaries, and meaningful connection—especially when the conversation gets tough.

Coming Up:

Week 1 (this week): How to Listen with Empathy
Week 2: Generating Compassion for Others
Week 3: Creating Boundaries & Meeting Difficult Emotions with Self-Compassion
Week 4: Building Hope in the Goodness of People

The goal isn’t to “win” arguments, but to make tough conversations less draining—and far more meaningful.

Week 1: How to Listen with Empathy

Have you ever walked away from an argument about politics, family values, or any sensitive issue feeling frustrated and disconnected? Sometimes it seems like real conversation is impossible. That’s where empathetic listening can change everything.

Now, a caveat: this tool works best when you have the time and energy to create the right conditions. Your intention matters. You’re listening to understand and connect, not to debate or persuade.

The Wholebeing Institute offers a framework I love for practicing empathetic listening, built around three frames:

Getting Into the Speaker’s Movie
- Imagine stepping into their story, like you’re watching a film.
- Notice their struggles, motivations, and emotions.
- Stay fully present—don’t interrupt & resist planning your response.
- Use eye contact and allow pauses for reflection.
- Use small verbal nods like “mmhmm” or “yes” to show you’re listening.

Be a Mirror
- Reflect back what you’re hearing from the speaker.
- Acknowledge their feelings and highlight their strengths.
- Notice shifts in their emotions.
- Ask clarifying questions to deepen understanding and show you want to hear more.
- This helps the speaker feel truly heard and understood.

Offer a Window
- Once connected, gently invite new perspectives.
- Ask questions that help the speaker imagine different possibilities or outcomes.
- Reflect on what might come next beyond their current story.
- Only if it feels welcome, ask if they’d like to hear your perspective.

You may not change anyone’s opinion, but you can build connections. Ultimately, relationships are more important than agreement.

This Week’s Challenge

Leave me a comment and share:

What opportunities are you finding to use empathetic listening?
How did it go?

Sneak Peek: Next Week

Next week, we’ll dig into how to generate compassion for others—especially when beliefs differ.

Need Support for Challenging Conversations?

Ready for personalized strategies?
Email me at dianna@collierclan.net for a free consultation.